Finding Love Postpartum

There’s nothing overtly sexy about this season of marriage. With spit-up covering your clothes, dishes piled high, and dark circles around your eyes, it’s no wonder why fairy tales don’t cover this chapter in the love story. There is no plot here, just the daily grind of mundane love. This is where love finds its roots.

There is no fancy overture or grand aesthetic to romance these days. Ironically, I find the best connection happens when you’re gag-laughing over a baby who has just ruined yet another adorable outfit with her explosive excrement. There’s something ironic about falling in love with your spouse over a pile of crap. These are the moments you don’t think about when you’re vowing to love each other forever, but alas, here you are in the most unglamorous circumstance feeling all kinds of spicy about your man.

Who knew poop could be so romantic?

Then there’s the new body. After nine long months of growing a human followed by hours upon hours of grueling labor, your skin-tight stomach has lost all of its elasticity. The youthful glow that once made its home in your midsection has vacated the premises. In its place? Enough stretch marks to cover an elephant’s toosh. This new skin represents strength that was exerted to create a life. Those stretch marks were caused by a little miracle, so pride is the only reasonable emotion.

Speaking of being reasonable – you have lost most semblance of this quality, and who knows if it will ever return. Sanity feels like a reality that can only be attained by 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep, which won’t be happening for a long time, so you accept the inevitable: you have lost your mind. It’s the new normal and there’s no fighting it. After you settle into this new reality, something incredible will happen. Your people will show up. They will pester and prod and offer help until you finally give in. You have a tribe, and they won’t be easily swayed. You will become overwhelmed with gratitude because your village loves you, sewage brain and all.

When you think of all you’ve gained because of the explosive diapers, ravaged body parts, and raging hormones, it’s no wonder people keep having babies. You have found a new kind of love in this postpartum life.